I Love A Mystery

Just when it looked like the republican convention was winding down, after the electric excitement of last night's events, they're springing a surprise, enticing us to tune in once again. Tonight, in addition to the speech by Mitt Romney, there will be a mystery guest speaker! Imagine that!
Of course a ton of folks were going to watch anyway, because they want to hear Mitt stir up the delegates as he accepts the nomination. That's pretty standard procedure, like the ever-delightful balloon drop.  But a mystery guest? There hasn't been one of those since the vintage TVshow,  "What's My Line?"
Speculation is running high about who the mystery guest might be. Some say Tim Tebow, of football fame. Others are betting on Clint Eastwood, who just happens to be promoting a new movie, and has become an icon, which means he's getting really old. I remember when Henry Fonda got really old. He and Kathryn Hepburn made a movie, "On Golden Pond," and became icons at the same time. We didn't call them icons back then. They were called "Has-Beens."

While reviewing the directory of Has-Been Speakers For Hire, the republicans considered calling in Chuck Norris as the guest speaker,  but he was already booked to give a lecture to scientists at NASA.
No, tonight's mystery guest speaker is not an athlete or an actor. He doesn't like terms like "icon." He's just cool. When he speaks, people listen. He's the most interesting man in the world. And he drinks Dos Equis beer.
You heard it here first. Stay thirsty my friends.