Home Work

Oops. I shouldn't use this word. It's apparently trademarked.

There is a  commercial on TV that informs us that The National Association of Realtors is the OFFICIAL sponsor of the word "home." I thought, That's nice, but what does it mean?
Here's the deal. (All text with yellow highlighting is boring but is here to prove I did my homework. Okay to skip.)

On Friday, April 02, 2004, a U.S. federal trademark registration was filed for OFFICIAL SPONSOR OF THE WORD "HOME" by National Association of Realtors, Chicago, IL 60611. The USPTO has given the OFFICIAL SPONSOR OF THE WORD "HOME" trademark serial number of 78395504. The current federal status of this trademark filing is SECTION 8 & 15-ACCEPTED AND ACKNOWLEDGED.  The OFFICIAL SPONSOR OF THE WORD "HOME" trademark is filed in the category of Advertising, Business & Retail Services . The description provided to the USPTO for OFFICIAL SPONSOR OF THE WORD "HOME" is Association Services, namely, promoting the interests of real estate professionals.  

In short, they think they own the rights to the word "home." Fine. Let them do some of the work around here.

Official sponsors usually come to mind when we think of The Olympics, or a race. In exchange for the privilege of being "official sponsor," businesses contribute some money to the sponsoree. For instance, Kroger sponsored the Indianapolis Motor Speedway this year. In exchange for their contribution, they were named official florist and official provider of the box lunches. That seems fair. Gillette is a sponsor of NASCAR. For their consideration, they ask that the drivers use Gillette razors and apply Old Spice anti-persperant to their armpits. I'm in favor of that.

I have checked with my husband, and neither of us remember receiving a sponsorship check from The National Association of Realtors for the right to use the word "home." Never has a member of the NAR rang our doorbell and presented us with a check, or offered to clean the toilet. Yet this is clearly our home, and we would like to maintain our right to refer to it as such.

Top-Ten hits like "I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen" will be illegal to sing or play. "Home Fries are soon to be House Fries, which sounds like we need to some Raid. Baseball announcers, unable to use the word "home" will scream, "And the runner dives to his belly and slides into the bag-thing in front of the catcher!"

Well, here's what I say: HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME!!!!
If anyone wants to sue me, I'll be at the house I live in.