Oct. 25 Blog Saved from Oblivion by Collector

Yesterday's blog disappeared before many could read it. Thanks to my husband Larry, who saves EVERYTHING, I'm able to reproduce it here.

Fall Break is over. The kids around here endured a tedious 9 weeks of school before their 11-day vacation. Guilt ridden-parents rushed them off to Famous Amusement Parks and beaches,  blowing the Christmas budget to help their kids unwind. They realize the pressure on their kids is intense. They must face classes all day, make healthy-choice decisions at lunch, wear designer clothes, and master sneak-texting with both hands in their backpack.
Some parents shipped their kids off to sitting-duck grandparents like me, thinking we were going to supervise them.

Fall Breaker on dog control. Note sugary drink on left, iPod on gate.

Grandchildren can be useful.  If you  feed them enough sugar, they are very submissive and will work for more sugary treats. While they sweep and mop, I take a nap, the closest thing to my fall break.

Many grandparents never had a fall break. Our best hope was that our teacher might have a nervous breakdown and we'd get a senile substitute, but the sub was usually worse than the one we broke. Now it's too late. No one wants to see our old fat rolls wiggling on the beach. If we tried to surf, we'd surely drown, and the only perk is that it would make a cool obituary:Mildred Mould, Aged 81, drowned while surfing at Whale Beach. 

Our new doormat, provided by an unsuspecting parent.

Kids that get stuck at Grandma's are the lucky ones. They do things here that are forbidden at home, like start fires, cook on the stove, shoot BB guns, and watch "Little House on the Prairie" and "Mayberry, RFD." Eating is continuous, interrupted only by sugary drinks. Parents are forbidden to call or text except in an emergency. Life is good.