Human Habitat

We live in a bi-level home. I know that because in the last few years I've developed the legs of a linebacker. Up and down. Up and down. Who designed this?
Our house is just like the picture at the left. When you walk in the "Main Entrance" you expect to see a delightful vista of spacious living. Instead, you're likely to see a laundry basket full of socks and undies that only made it halfway to the "lower level." We don't call it the "lower level, because the water heater and the furnace live there. Don't kid me, it's a basement. It's halfway underground, so in a tornado, only your upper half will be sucked into the sky and flung all the way to Kansas.
We've been in this house a number of years, but I still don't know what the other levels or rooms are called. We started calling the area on the other side of the main entrance the "foyer," because it was shorter and sounded more pricey. Truthfully, I've never said "main entrance," either.  I like the quaint French phrase that describes it better: "front door."
When you step into our foyer, two things happen. First Teddy takes a bite out of your ankle. That's practical, since there's no carpet down there to get stained. Second, you're facing two short flights of stairs. You must immediately decide whether to go up or down. Heaven or hell. Upper level or lower level. (See diagram. It's very complicated.)

Guinea Pig bi-level habitat

Bi-level houses are designed by the  people who make guinea pig cages. Only you shouldn't say "cage" anymore. It's a habitat.
Regardless, if you've ever noticed how stupid and confused a guinea pig is, just take a look at where he lives. I'm just sayin'.

Humans who live in bi-level habitats will not only become stupid, they will experience anxiety and demonstrate symptoms similar to bi-polarism, which used to be called manic depression. Now, that term is reserved for guinea pigs.

Bi-level feature: half-buried rooms

The point is that a human like me will become mentally damaged when presented daily with the maze presented by bi-level living. Common symptoms are confusion, disorientation, a desire for fresh, leafy greens, and the inability to remember what they were blogging about.