If, with his paws, MY dog could write a last will and testament, it would be something like this:
"Dear owner, I tried to tell you I was sick. But no, you just said it was something I ate, like rabbit poop, and that I'd be fine in the morning. Well, I'm not fine, and I'm ticked.
Don't think for a moment that because your kids did a cute little funeral and you buried me in the back yard, that now you can get a new puppy to replace me? That bed, those rotton toys and that leaky bowl is mine, and no other dog should EVER touch those things. Didn't I mean anything to you? Now that I am gone, you should NEVER get another pet, or you're proving that I was just a convenient object for your misplaced affection. Remember when you'd stroke my tummy and I'd lie on my back and look all cute? That was a total scam. I just wanted you to think I liked it so you'd give me a treat. For crap's sake, would a little treat here and there have been too much to ask? Some dogs I knew got pig ears and huge, real bones. What did I get? Leftover green beans. Thanks a lot. Then there were the times you'd hand me a sliver of fried chicken the size of a flat toothpick. I hope you didn't go hungry that night, 'cause I sure did!
Please, now that I've left, don't spend your meager love on another dog. Give it up, Pal, you're the worst thing that ever happened to a dog.
And by the way, that lame "Dog's Last Will and Testament" that was posted on Facebook must have been as much as an embarrassment to the author as it was to me. They wouldn't even fess up to writing it."
Author Unknown
Does this mean your white fuzzball has joined Wilma?
ReplyDelete