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| "The reason for my call...." |
1979 (From a neighbor's phone) "Sorry you fell off your bike, Son. You'll be fine. And don't say boo-boo. It's just a flesh wound."
1988 (From a pay phone) "Well, first you jack the car up and...jack...it's in the trunk. It looks a little like a bong. Trunk!!! The thing with the lid at the back of the car. No, wait! That's the gas door! Quick - put another quarter in the phone."
1995 (Land line) "Well, you cut through the onion the long way. Along those faint lines on the outside. Right. Cut it in half. No! Leave the skin on for now...stop interrupting!
Let's start all over. Put the onion on the cutting board..that's right..."
2010 (iPhone on Facetime) "Yes, I see your toilet tank. Please don't drop the phone in there. Remember last time? Okay, Do you see the big yellow thing on the left? No! Don't touch that! There's little screw on there somewhere. Yes, I'll wait while you find it."
2012 (Announcement on my Voicemail) "Hi, this is Mom. Sorry I missed your call. If you need help with cooking, auto repair, or toilet repair, there's an app for that. Have a great day."
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