Conversation Competition

Recently, during a casual conversation with a group of people at dinner I said, "I really need to go to the doctor and see about this back pain." The conversation quickly turned into a game of verbal ping pong. "Oh boy," my husband said, "I hear what you're saying. My sinuses are killing me!" Not to be left out, Uncle Harold made a contribution. "I had my fourth heart stent put in last week." His wife, Aunt Franny, couldn't let that one go. "Well, Harold, that's nothing compared to my arthritis pain. I guess I shouldn't keep my misery to myself." And so it went, around the table, until it was my turn again.
Determined to change the subject, I said, "By the way, we need to see a lawyer about making a will."
The ping pong game was resumed. "Oh my goodness!" Aunt Franny was alive with enthusiasm, "Get my lawyer, he's the best in town!" "Oh, really," said cousin Pete, "He can't be better than my lawyer. I got a huge settlement for that grocery cart accident." It turns out that each one at the table had not only the worst ailments but the best lawyer.
Still desiring to talk about something else, I said, "That reminds me, I've been feeling a little loopy lately. Does anyone here know of a good psychiatrist?" No one said a word.
After a pause I continued, "I really could use a recommendation for a liposuction specialist." Again, there was a long silence.
Finally, cousin Pete spoke up, "You know that friend of mine with the hardware store? I got a killer deal on a new lawnmower today!"