School Days

School child overcome by chicken wad fumes

In Indiana, where we always know best, we're sending our children back to school this week. The temperatures are in the 90's. It's so humid you need to wear a towel.  We're smack-dab in the middle of an historic drought. Oh, and we're broke, so we closed several schools. Many good teachers won't be holding classes this year, so we're sending the kids back into crowded  classrooms that will be blasting air-conditioned air at an enormous cost.  Since we're consolidating up to make up for closed schools, it's going to be close in there. And by close I mean armpit to armpit.
We'll fire up the ovens to spit out endless trays of chicken wads designed to resemble actual chicken parts. Turn on the lights and the PA system! It's time to wake these kids up from their weather-induced comatose state. Get out the horns and drums, kids, we're headed to the athletic field to march until we drop. Don't feel sorry for yourselves! Look at the football team over there wearing heavy gear and helmets! No, they haven't passed out! They're just...sleeping.
Yessir, we'll tough it out. Even though it costs a bazillion dollars a day to operate schools in this state, it's smarter to start classes in the miserable, dog days of summer. The additional weather-induced expenses can be absorbed by eliminating fresh vegetables at lunch.
And the kids? They were just getting to the sweet time of summer when they are just bored enough to start inventing games and wondering how corn grows. They might have read a book, or had a precious conversation with their grandmother.