One Man's Plant

Rare Bulbus Obnoxius Mortis

My husband and I don't have a history of fighting. On most projects we ignore each other, keeping any friction to a minimum. But over the years there have been issues that have strained our relationship. Of course there were the 8 kids, which strained our plumbing, our budget and our nerves. And there were differences in our approach to housekeeping. Early on, he assumed that I would be in charge of cleaning and laundry and cooking, probably because I walked up the aisle with a feather duster for a  bouquet.
He decided to head up the flower and plant division.
This plan didn't always work. On many occasions, when we were having  friends for dinner, I could be found on the floor with an unwound wire coat hanger, gagging the vacuum cleaner hose while it spit up legos and dusty hair sculptures. The dust would fly over my newly cleaned room, while our birds choked and coughed. My husband would not notice. He was busy straightening the pictures on the wall, or looking for candle holders. (We own more candle holders than drinking glasses, sometimes forcing us to serve adult beverages in them. Kind of a portion-control thing.)
I need to get to the point here. There's a plant in our house that's been with us for 30 years. It's dead, but my husband can't let it go. Last Saturday I hid it in the basement, which is my stepping off point to the garbage or Goodwill.  I got busted, and accused of pitching all his things, like old magazines, and keeping my things like the coffee pot. Blah, blah, blah.
Last Sunday we toured a home for sale in our neighborhood. It had been owned by - you guess it - a little old lady. As I entered the kitchen, I saw, on the counter,  an exact replica of our dead plant.

Equally rare Bulbus Obnoxius Mortis

Geez, Louise, this must be some kind of really cool vegetation, or else it's a cleverly disguised hallucinogenic plant. I felt really stupid for trying to throw ours out and went home straightaway to put it back in the bathroom.
Marital bliss has been restored once again, until it's time to take the garbage out.