Bugging Me

Louisiana mosquito

Again last night I was the main course for
a delegation of mosquitoes, the Louisiana State Bird. I'm not new to mosquito abuse. We didn't have bug repellent when I was a child, and the only extermination was by a good slap with the hand or a fly swatter. These little guys that attack me at night here are crafty. They swirl around my head, buzzing in my ear until I slap myself upside the head. Most nights I fall asleep from head trauma, as  they feast upon my comely flesh. My use of blood thinners makes me the perfect host. One puncture with the proboscis and the party begins, delivering high speed vital fluids to the voracious vampire.

We lived on the San Francisco Peninsula in the 1980's. Things were so different then! President Ronald Reagan called for a "program for economic recovery" to a Joint Session of Congress. He called for cuts in spending, a 30 percent cut in taxes over a period of three years, an increase in defense expenditures, and he promised not to cut Social Security. We were getting uncomfortably involved with Afghanistan. Iran was holding hostages. A woman was appointed to The Supreme Court. Things were crazy.
The Mediterranean Fruit Fly was declared Public Enemy No. 1 in California. I was never bothered by a fruit fly unless it flew up my nose, but the agriculture of the state was in jeopardy, and money talks.

California Fruit Fly

It was decided helicopters would fly over our homes and distribute the pesticide Malathion laced with corn syrup to make it appealing to the fruit flies.
The application covered 1400 square miles, took months, and was really annoying. Viet Nam was very fresh in our memories, and the sound of three or more helicopters flying low aiming for your house is unsettling. The next morning, there would be a sticky goo covering everything outside, including kids' toys, cars and people who didn't take shelter. 

I would have endured all of it happily if it got rid of mosquitoes, but fruit flies? Come on.

The difference of course, is that my attack by the Louisiana mosquito has only harmed one person. My loss of memory and inability to perform small tasks will probably be attributed to senility - old age dementia - if you please, when in fact I'm probably suffering from West Nile Virus. The Louisiana mosquito will go unpunished and with my failing mind I will stare at the wall of the Silver Memories Nursing Home with the eternal question bugging me: Was it the West Nile Virus, or the chemical Malathion that brought me down?

How pathetic! Everyone knows it was the HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP!