Logo makes Me Loco

I had a phone fight with our cell phone provider yesterday. We received the first bill since my husband and I joined a family share plan. Right from the get-go, I was nervous. It sounds like family planning, and we all know how well that went for us. The bill I received was twice what I was expecting, kind of like the number of kids I was expecting. Although we only got one kid at a time,  I forgot eight times what caused it and how it turns out.

There was no phone number to call about my bill. When a phone company doesn't have a phone number, they can eliminate jobs and avoid inquiring customers at the same time.
I found a number online and called. It turns out the extra $100 on my bill was a down payment for future use. In other words, when I croak, they're not about to get stiffed for the bill. Another $35 was to flip a big switch somewhere in Outer Mongolia to get my phone connected to the system. There was $20 for taxes and fees. The other $105 was for the logo design team. That's where they make their extra money. Rather than come up with their own design, they borrowed theirs from the Austrian flag, shown at left.

Austrian Flag

This is a poorly disguised attempt to make you picture the Austrian countryside, as you hear "The hills are alive, with the sound of music" running through your head. What better way to sell you a ringtone? I'm not imagining this. The name of the phone company is a blend of veritas, Latin for "truth" and horizon, Pig Latin for a "cheap little sedan" made by Plymouth. There's a connection there somewhere. I feel it.

Peruvian Flag

Austria should protest the abuse of their flag.  Peru's flag is another view of the same pattern. You would think Austria and Peru would have sued each other over their flags, but they figure they'll come out better suing the phone company.
Most shocking of all, it appears that the logo designers sank all the way to Bikini Bottoms to steal the color scheme from the  boats at Mrs. Puff's Boating School. How low can you go?


Thanks to my greed for an iPhone 5,
I 'm stuck with this company for two years,  but I will protest in my own way. There'll be no more red and white color schemes in my life. I dismantled my Spongebob boat and recycled the pieces into a stinking compost bin, and there will be no candy canes in this house.