Talking Trash

Bummer.

It's turned cold in Madison. Two days ago we were running around in shirtsleeves. Yes, we looked ridiculous, but if we ever find the rest of those shirts we'll be fine. Today, however, we must face the reality that winter is here. Cold weather is such a time consumer. No matter what you need to do outside, it takes more preparation and courage than it ever takes in the other seasons.

For instance, taking the garbage. Why is it that in 2012, we still have to remove trash from the can in the kitchen and place it in the can in the yard or driveway? Obviously the garbage disposer wasn't the answer. It has a fussier diet than I do; no bones, no potato skins, no eggshells. Don't even think about old light bulbs or Styrofoam trays from the ground beef.

House designers have left us high and dry where garbage is concerned. If you live in a high-rise apartment, you'll likely have a garbage chute in the nice warm hallway for your deposits. If you live in a typical American home, you must put on your snow clothes and dash to the BIG garbage can outside. Right now, I am sitting by a window within 6 feet of our outside can, but to reach it I must travel through and around the house, in the rain, sleet and snow.

Bummer.

I had a good system for awhile. I would answer the door with a bag of garbage in my hand and invite guests to deposit it before they come in. It's only a few hundred steps out of their way, but the guests seem to have thinned out a bit lately.

And so, readers, on this, the first really cold day of winter I pledge to you that I will invent a new and better garbage disposal system. Perhaps it will be something that you too can install in your home. I shall return tomorrow with a full report on the project. Right now, I have to take the garbage.