Animal Abuse

Pennsylvania dog found in trash bag

I saw a news article about a dog found in a trash bag, and it startled me. I quickly searched the house to see if our dog Teddy was around, because the trash dog sure looked like him. all mangy and dirty. And it would be just like him to crawl in a trash bag and forget to come out; he's old and forgetful.
Sure enough, Teddy was still here, grazing around in the kitchen with Pearl and Baby, our cockatiels, looking for food. Of course, Teddy doesn't realize that his grazing companions would taste like chicken, so he's never bothered them. He bothers me instead. I am a victim of animal abuse.

Teddy, Pearl and Baby grazing for food.

Pearl dive-bombs me on the head when she wants a bird treat. She sits on our picture frame and messes up our painting.
I've repeatedly brushed her off the lamp shade, but she returns for her daily light therapy. She is defiant and stubborn, and will not return to her cage so I can lock the door.

I'm afraid of Pearl. She knows it.

But it will be the shade that goes in the trash, not Pearl. Why? Because animal abuse is a one-way street. How many TV commercials have you seen with pathetic old ladies staring at the camera while sad music plays? I am one of those pathetic people! Our house is a shredded shambles, with stained carpets and paint chewed off the doors. Who is going to rescue me? We've given the animals all our food and our furniture, and they want more. I even caught Teddy taking my golf cart for a ride.

Won 't you help? For only $1.30 a day I can get a bus to a senior center where there are no animals. I'll be safe there, with the soft music playing and no dogs or birds to bother me.

Teddy took over my golf cart.

I'll even send you a letter and a picture of me in my new happy home. Don't turn your back on this tragedy! Save a human! For less than the cost of a Prozac per day you can save the life of an animal-abused senior citizen. Act today!