Fiscal Fix

No Early Callers, Please

All I heard on the news yesterday was fiscal cliff, fiscal cliff, fiscal cliff. You think it's a clumsy phrase? Try saying it aloud 3 times.
Fiscal cliffs are nothing new to my family. We're so accustomed to fiscal cliffs we sleep with our cleats on. We've learned to climb around fiscal cliffs like billygoats, looking for loose change.

There's so much talk on TV about money. Millions, billions, trillions, bajillions; once it's over $5.00, who cares? With $5.00 you can get 3 breakfast burritos, coffee and change.

They're telling us the country is broke. Oh, great. Why didn't someone say something before the Louisiana purchase? Who said it was a good idea to buy Alaska? Now that the politicians have messed the economy all up, maybe they'll listen to us about how to fix it.

When I really, really want something, like my next meal, I have a yard sale. I can generate fresh money with nothing more than a few hours work, a square piece of cardboard and a flow pen. I think our government could do the same. Think of all the useless stuff in their garage: battleships, tanks, old forts, this stuff could bring the big bucks.

Suisun Bay, California rest home for ships

While we're liquidating, does anyone seriously think we need Alaska? And no offense, but it's been a headache to show a U.S. map ever since we added Hawaii. Let's just unload those two states, and rent them back from the new owners. Stop sticking them in the corners of of U.S.A. map where they look like a seagull unloaded over them.  Both those states have unattractive profiles.

Omigosh, Get the glue!

If this was my intestine, I'd be seeing a doctor.

 

 

 

If we have a U.S. yard sale, I volunteer to bring the muffin tin for the loose change. Whoever makes the signs, be sure you tack some up in China. I hear they have a lot of money.