Equally Splendid!

THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BLOGGER SYSTEM.

IF THIS HAD BEEN A REAL EMERGENCY, YOU WOULD HAVE FAILED. THE BLOGGER IN QUESTION FAILED TO PRODUCE A TIMELY BLOG ON 12/15/12, AND NO ONE REPORTED AN ANOMALY, PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T PRONOUNCE IT. THE BLOGGER MIGHT HAVE BEEN LYING ON THE FLOOR OF HER PORCH CALLING OUT "HELP! MY CHAIR HAS COLLAPSED AND I CAN'T GET UP." THIS IS ONLY A TEST.

This morning got off to a rough start. I had to take a passenger to the airport, which is a one hour trip from our part of the boonies. I pulled into the drive-through at  McDonald's for a coffee, but I was busy fumbling with money and accidentally shouted my order into the trash can. It echoed.

The monitor was black.

When I looked up to see the screen I noticed it was black. Then the odor hit me. I pulled up a bit to what looked more like a microphone and repeated the order. "One medium coffee, please, two creamers and two Sweet 'n Lo's."
"We only have Equal and Splenda."
Bummer. "Okay, then give me two creamers and two Equals or two Splendas."
"So that's two creamers, Two equals and two splendas."
"No, no," I said, " Either two equals or two Splendas."
"So you want four sweeteners then?"
"No, gosh darnit! I want Sweet 'n lo, but you don't have it! Just give me 4 sugars."
Okay, Ma'm that's a medium coffee with 4 sugars. Is the screen correct?"
"The screen smells like the city dump!" I answered.
"Just give me a black coffee and I'll put the stuff in myself."

"I'm sorry, Ma'm. We don't do that anymore. We put the creamer and sweetener in for you."

That's disappointing. The fun of drinking coffee is messing with it and adding stuff to make it not taste like coffee. Is this fast food chain really saving money by fixing my coffee for me? And who said Equal and Splenda were as tasty as Sweet 'n Lo? As far as I'm concerned, a little carcinogen in your sweetener is tasty.

I'm switching to orange juice.