Yours and Mayan

The Mayan calendar. Oh, Now I see....

A typical fiscal cliff.

The "fiscal cliff" negotiations aren't going so well. Like most Americans, I don't pay much attention to the details, but I love listening to dire predictions of impending doom. Next week will be the all-time, hands down, over-the-top doom week. The fans of the soon-to-be defunct Mayan calendar predict the end of the world will be one week from today. If you don't get your pants to the dry cleaner TODAY, it may be too late. But no matter, if we survive the end of the world we still have the big fiscal cliff to worry about. 

Let's look at out options here. We could be rescued from the fiscal cliff by the Washington Wizards. No, not the basketball team, the gang of suits that make our decisions for us. They are grown men who wear big-boy suits and talk a lot. They rarely make decisions, except for one important decision early in the morning. Which tie should they wear?

 Ladies and gentlemen, do you expect innovative, creative solutions to come from creatures who all dress almost identically? If style is the outward expression of individuality, we have a problem. All male politicians dress the same, as if they were in a giant boy's school. Maybe they slide down the banisters with their ties flying when they should be negotiating. They spend hours online drooling over the pastel ties at the Men's Wearhouse.
I guarantee it.

The Second Continental Congress.

 It wasn't always this way. The Second Continental Congress was a veritable fashion show. Men were men in those days, and we have the Declaration of Independence to show for it, as well as stunning paintings. Imagine! Brown suits, maroon suits, mustard-colored suits! Now there's a show of independence!

The Second Mayan Congress.

 Clearly, the Mayans, too, were stylish people. Perhaps they realized that man would sink into a boring style-pit and emerge in dark suits and silly neckties. In their wisdom perhaps they saw that by 2012, men were out of ideas, out of enthusiasm and out of ties. We'll find out by next Friday.