Rip Off: One Sheet At A Time

Gaping hole in the roll. Note less paper on upper rolls.

This blog contains a graphic image that may be disturbing to some readers.

There's something ugly going on in our grocery stores and restaurants, and we should have seen it coming.

In 1955 my classmates and I would go to the basement of Holy Names Academy in Seattle and with a single nickel purchase a Three Muskateers chocolate bar from the selection is our vending machine. The candy bars weighed about a pound, and would barely fit in the pocket of my itchy wool uniform sweater. (In those days no one thought about whether their kid was allergic. Parents and teachers were just annoyed when you turned red and got squirmy.)

I stopped buying candy bars when the price went up to ten cents, but I noticed over the years that the Three Muskateers bar was no longer a huge 3-piece bar, but had been reduced to the size of a Pink Pearl eraser.  For the next few years I chewed on my eraser in class dreaming it was my beloved chocolate treat.



Now, when I buy groceries and supplies, I'm shocked that everything has shrunk. The two pound coffee can is now 1 lb 6.6 oz. The 5 lb bag of sugar is now 4 lb. Scientists and farmers are reportedly breeding miniature chickens to produce jelly bean-sized eggs.

Aha!!!!

Toilet tissue, also know as toilet paper, is now wrapped on a roll the size of a Coke can. You're going to run out of paper sooner than you ever did before, and you won't see it coming. You'll be stuck in the bathroom yelling for help, wondering where the rest of the paper went. If we have to give up some toilet paper, for heaven's sake, take it from the beginning of the roll, not from the end, leaving us stranded!

Groceries of the future.

Wake up America! Demand a return to larger sizes! If we can down a Big Gulp, we can tolerate a normal egg. Fast food restaurants are pawning off miniature burgers at the old, bigger burger price! If you want your fair share of cheap, fatty hamburger meat, take a ruler and a scale with you when you shop or dine out.
Remember, smaller is not better. Smaller is just less for the same money. Insist on big portions, fat fluffy toilet paper rolls, giant cans of coffee, and hamburgers the size of dinner plates. Oh, and a big, heavy chocolate bar for a nickel.