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Witness testifies at chewing gum trial

One day last week I discovered that someone had deposited blue chewing gum on the floor of our porch. It was over 100 degree that day, and 6 of my grandchildren had spent the night, but a survey of the assembled guests failed to reveal a perpetrator. I had an idea who might have done it, but I wanted to be sure he had a fair trial.  I announced  that there would be a trial at 11 am, and that the defendant and his attorney should prepare to defend him. The defendant's mother was chosen as judge, only because she happened along and needed a table upon which to place her coffee.
The prosecuting attorney was delighted at the chance to get out Grandpa's old attache case to stuff with evidence. The defendant's attorney was more interested in setting up the courtroom than in defending his client.
It became apparent during the trial that the one thing our kids have learned from TV is to jump up at a trial and yell, "I object!" Anyone can do this - jurors, witnesses, and courtroom observers.
After a solid hour of testimony laced with many loud objections, the defendant grew hungry and after consulting with his mother (the judge) in chambers opted to plead guilty in exchange for a reduced sentence and chicken nuggets. The attorneys, witnesses, and jurors had also grown hungry and quickly accepted the plea without objection.

Bernadette Wickersham, Court Reporter