Monday Mission

This is so way better than a hacksaw.

Today, Cyber Monday, I want to find the best price on an oscillating multifunction tool like the one in the photo. I must have this in order to convert my golf cart to a covered vehicle for wintertime travel. Unlike my failed attempt to convert the golf cart to Cousin Eddy's motorhome, this time I smell success. The finished product should look vaguely like the vehicle in the photo below. Very vaguely.


                                                                                

Not my golf cart...yet.

Men are in charge of the conception, invention and manufacture of power tools. As a result, the rule of thumb has been that, like men,   power tools should be expensive, heavy, noisy, and limited to the performance of only one task. Do you need to cut a steel pipe? You'll have to have a steel pipe cutter. Do you need to cut a piece of bamboo? Sorry. You can't use the steel pipe cutter. You need a specialty fibrous materials cutter, complete with heavy motor, case, and bragging rights.
"Hey, Bob, cuttin' some bamboo?"
"Yeah, Frank, thought I'd try the wife's bread knife."
"Geez, Bob, you'll mess up the bamboo. I'll loan you my specialty fibrous materials cutter. I guess you don't have one. I have everything except personality, and I make up for it by having lots of tools."
"Cool, Frank. I'll pretend I like you so you'll keep loaning me stuff."

When a woman needs to  extract a screw with the head all chewed up, she uses a pair of pliers. A man goes to his tool collection and gets a tap and die set, retail value $84.99, and does the job in twice the time with lots of noise and useless comments.  A woman hangs a picture by hammering a nail in the wall with the electric iron. A man completes the same job with a digital measuring tape, a laser level, drywall anchors, and an electric hammer. Then he must tell everyone how hard it was, and that he couldn't have done it without all those special tools.

                                                                              

Today I need an oscillating multifunction tool. I tried to cut my new golf cart roof with the electric carving knife and a portable electric can opener. I couldn't grind it off with the electric fingernail file. I thought about leaving the bowl off the food chopper and using that, but that might be messy. 

The funny thing is that as much as I need an oscillating multifunction tool, none of the men in the family seem to have one. Maybe they've never needed to cut the roof of a golf cart.