Holy Tweet

One of the best features of a smartphone is the ability to get up-to-the-minute news. Many of us thrill to the beep of the news bulletin signal. We grab our phones, hoping we'll be the first to know that an asteroid is about to hit the earth or that a real pig has actually flown. (When the asteroid does hit the earth pigs will, in fact, fly.)

This morning, I was just waking up when my CNN news signal beeped. At first, I thought it was my husband texting from the kitchen that my Eggs Benedict were ready. On second glance, it was breaking news that Pope Benedict sent his first tweet. Really? A pope tweet?

 I admit that I'm professionally envious. I've been dragging myself out of bed for 6 months now, and written 163 blogs, and CNN has yet to mention my efforts. The Pope tweets and it's headline news. I wonder what he said. I might find out, but before I confuse the issue with the truth, here's what I think happened.

 The Pope thought he was texting an associate. He feebly typed:
 "Hey Cardinalem, quam operor vos adepto is rem, in Scrabble?" ("Hey Cardinal, how do you get this thing on Scrabble?") 
But he really accidentally tapped the Twitter icon on his smartphone. He saw the cute bird and subconsciously tapped it, hoping it was a direct line to the Holy Spirit, the ultimate Scrabble victory partner. 

 Look, the Pope is 85. Are we supposed to believe he just popped out of bed this morning and tweeted? The only thing he popped this morning was his pills, just like the rest of us old people. In no way do I believe His Holiness did the finger dance on the screen of his smartphone and created a tweet. Even if he did, Popes always say stuff we already know, like, "It's wrong to kill people." They never say cool, shocking stuff like, "I was tempted to wear a sweatsuit today."

So I haven't looked into the news story about the Pope's Tweet. 
I'd rather try to picture His Holiness in sweatpants and a hoodie.