Medicine: A Short History

The Caduceus,  Commonly accepted symbol is incorrect.

I've been seeking medical treatment for an annoying condition of my parotid gland. That's the gland that produces saliva, or as we call it at home, the spit sack. Actually, I had no idea where spit came from. I thought the Easter Bunny brought it. Turns out it's delivered by ducts from the parotid gland to the inside of the mouth! Eeu! Mine is blocked and has caused me to swell up with the cheek of a chipmonk. So far, the medical profession has failed to cure me of this anomoly.


Imagine my shock when I further discovered  the commonly accepted symbol of medicine is INCORRECT! I was just getting ready to tattoo it on my swollen cheek!


I discovered that the symbol we've grown to look for on our ambulances is not the correct one for the medical profession. It turns out to be this one shown at left, the rod of Asclepius. master of eloquence, commerce and trickery, all admirable medical attributes. The rod is decorated with a reptile. The words on the banner can be interpreted, "First The Money." It has apparently always been a problem for physicians to get paid in a timely manner.

Hermes the Greek

The real pioneer of medicine, it turns out is this guy, Hermes the Greek,
often depicted buck naked running around with that same snake thing and somehow got associated with medicine, probably because he went around yelling,









"Where is my money?"

 But he's the main reason you have to get naked at the doctor's office.

 Early writing shows how important this snake thing is. This is actually an early Medicare claim and it says. "Unless you pay the 15% co-pay, you house will be invaded by snakes and they will swallow your grandchildren." Notice the wiggly snaky characters in this claim.

Early Medicare Claim Notice.

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Then there was this guy, whose name escapes me, but who - you guessed it - ALSO had a snake fetish, and also liked to get naked. He actually was a shoe salesman, but his snake got him in tight with early doctors.

Whatsisface, circa 1256 B.C.

Trust me, I'm a doctor.

Today's physician looks like this, and hides his snakes in his office. He is a little cagey, but he wears his snakelike stethoscope around his neck to ward off evil spirits, such as Medicare patients.
His medical symbol is shown here, but is rarely seen in public. It depicts the snakelike stethoscope winding around the ever reliable glass oral thermometer, and is topped by the wings of American Airlines, who frequently take him out of town to Cancun when we need him the most here at home.

Note stethoscope resemblance to snake.

 This history is meant to educate and inform. All research and clinical material published by the Bernadettetheblog School of Medicine on the School’s website is for informational purposes only. Readers are encouraged to confirm the information contained herein with other sources, including medicine labels and TV commercials. Patients and consumers should review the information carefully with their plumber or professional health care provider, even if that person is a nitwit. The information is not intended to replace medical advice offered by physicians or the Maytag Repairman. The Bernadettetheblog School of Medicine and the University of Miss Information will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary, or other damages arising therefrom, including swollen parotid glands and chipmonk cheeks.