Odds and Ends

I keep notes on my desk to remind me of things I want to blog about. Today is cleanup day, so here are some short opinions and observations.

TOO MANY RULES
I noticed a sign at the bank entrance advising patrons to remove hats and sunglasses before entering the bank. Says who? I fully intend to wear a suspicious costume each time I enter the bank lobby, which normally would only be once a year or so, but I'll increase my visits.

FORENSIC TIRE ANALYSIS
I finally caught the guy who drives over the mushy corner of our lawn as he exits the driveway. Photos of the mud imprints and the residual mud on his tire have enabled a positive ID on the perp.

NEW DIET TRICK
I'm always looking for an easy way to lose weight. Here it is briefly. Chop many fresh veggies and saute them in olive oil. Remove the vegetables to a bowl, secure a fork and proceed to the table to eat. On the way, trip on the dog and dump the entire plate into a pile of bird feathers and other debris. Your appetite will disappear along with pounds of ugly fat.

DO YOU SUPPOSE that the imbeciles who throw their empty drink cups by the side of the road are the same ones who complain about paying the taxes that pay for the people who clean them up?

I LEARNED SOMETHING at the doctor's office. If you turn off your cell phone they'll get to you sooner. That's what the sign said. My appointment was at 10:30 and I saw the doctor at noon. Normally he would have had lunch while I wait in the exam room. I can tell. He doesn't floss.